Saturday, December 27, 2008

I'm Bored...

So, how much do you hate it when people cancel on you and leave you high and dry sitting in your house painfully bored after you already got excited for the nights festivities? Because i fucking hate it. a lot. If you couldn't tell, this happened to me, tonight. and i am still bitter. We had been planning on hanging out for a while now, and tonight was a good night for both of us cause he had to hang out with his sis during the day, and i had to work and i got off at 5, perfect. I called when i got off work, and he is like yeah definately just call me when your out of the shower, once i got out of the shower i see wow there are FOUR new texts, from him. Saying hey, i have to hang out with my cousin tonight, but we can hang out for a little while still. It was about 6 when this happened, he had to hang out with his cousin at 9, i still had to finish getting ready and eat, and then drive to his house 20-30 min away. So that leaves us about an hour maybe 2 to hang out. That is not what we had planned and i had turned down other offers of the day because i had already made plans. So now i am sitting at home, thank goodness i played my new wii games, painted my toenails, and watched the drug years on vh1. It is not even 11 yet, and i am bored out of mind.

In other news, i have a little bit of money now. Oh! and Lilli is coming to see me next week i am so so so soooo excited.

I really have nothing else to say this post is boring and i am sorry for anyone who reads it but i had to get that off my chest. I suppose i can talk about christmas for a minute. Oh this is good. here ya go..

We went to Christmas eve service at my church at 11 o clock at night like we always do, and there is this girl that also goes to that service..We made fun of her last year for wearing pajamas that said something along the lines of "santas naughty cookie" on them, we were like well normally God doesn't care what you wear, but he is judging you right now. Well, this year she had on pajamas again. BUT they were shorts and she had them on over jeans...and the jeans were rolled up..and she had on knee high socks that had lights on them..and the pajamas said "meet me under the mistletoe" and this girl has a baby, and my mom said me under the mistletoe look where that got her, a baby and no daddy. And i laughed really hard, cause that fuckin funny, the girl is a year younger than me, her baby is almost 1. But seriously don't wear pj's that say your a slut on them to church please.

Christmas was good for the sisson family santa brought some awesome presents, and later in the night i went to kates familys house and we celebrated with a bottle of white wine, a 12 pack on yuenglings, and shots of crown royal. It was awesome.

Random Song Quote: "I know its not mine but i'll see if i can use it for the weekend or a one night stand" - Sugar Ray "every morning"

Monday, December 22, 2008

I'm Broke and Have Road Rage

I worked today, i made some moola, and i spent it all immediately after work on presents for everyone! yay! I need to work more so i can have more money. Or i just need a paycheck, i know there is one coming to me in the future from school, and i'll be getting one from this work, but umm it takes TWO weeks to get paychecks, i need money NOW. I'm going to a street corner in DC in order to get this done. Just kidding, but im seriously considering it. I bet i could make like 200 bucks in 3 hours. It would be worth standing in the cold, and possibly being arrested, raped, and killed.

Also, i realize Christmas in like 3 days away, but I cannot for the life of me get into the Christmas spirit. I was almost there today folks the buying of presents, the spending of money, and Christmas songs on every radio station i turned to, it was all working for me and i was like hey!Christmas is on thursday...UNTILLLLLLL i realized that people in sterling,VA have never drove a car a before, and if they have no one ever taught them to proper way to drive said car. I believe that every.single.other.person. (besides me) wants every other driver on the road to either. A) create an accident. or B) get into an accident. I have 2 perfect examples that left me screaming and cussing at the top of my lungs in my car and cursing all of sterling.

Example one: I was leaving the mall, all excited to get home and eat dinner, but first i had to stop off and buy grandma a gift card. So i'm coming out of the mall, waiting patiently at the light to turn left onto the road that gets me where im going, and i notice that allllllllllll the people going straight are backed up into the intersection and realize i might have to wait a minute in order to actually make the turn while they slowly move out of my way, no biggie i can wait an extra second. BUT apparently the assholes that were across from me also turning left, in the backed up intersection and going their way, those assholes can't wait ONE FUCKING SECOND for anything. Both our lights turned green at the same time, i had a little bit of room to actually turn so i started go, so did the people coming across. I slammed on my breaks cause douche bag was headed straight for my fucking car, great! Where did he think he was going? THAT TRAFFIC WAS BACKED UP INTO THE INTERSECTION AND HE TRIED TO GET IN LINE WITH THEM TO WAIT AT THE LIGHT???? well now that i'm not going and about to get into a head on collison, both the douche that came toward me is honking at me, and the person behind me is also honking cause duh the light is green and i should be driving. I had to do some very illegal things and flick someone off in order to turn. MERRY CHRISTMAS ASSHOLE. you almost caused a crash that woulda ruined everyones christmas.

Example two: Happened approximately 5 minutes after example number 1. i was already pissed and hungry and wanted to get home. But remember i had to get the gift card. So i go to turn into the shopping center where said place is. ANOTHER ASSHOLE! sterling is FILLED with them. Was sitting there making a U turn in his GIANT hummer, and his high beams were on blinding me. Hey fucktard, i drive a sunfire, i cannot see around your army vehicle. no one is coming behind me why don't you fucking do your U turn. But he didn't. So i had to inch and inch and inch and inch and inch and finally just decided that no one was coming and hoped for the best, and if someone had hit me i woulda blamed the hummer for blocking my view and blinding me. Once i turned I screamed at the top of my lungs something along the lines of "WHY DOES NO ONE IN THIS TOWN KNOW HOW TO DRIVE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" and was happy i was alone.

Now how am i supposed to get into the christmas spirit when people keep pissing me off?? Anyway i finished shopping, made it home and ate dinner with my mom and dad. And thanked my mom for teaching me to be a GOOD driver. Its an elite club in this part of town.

Anyway Merry Christmas. Happy Hannuka (that ain't spelled right) Happy Kwanzaa, anything else i forgot, just be happy!

Random song quote: "Now I love pussy and pussy loves me like a lemon to the lime and the bumble to the bee." - Eazy E "gimme that nut"

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Whats a girl gotta do to get some sleep??

Granted it is totally my fault that i have gotten no sleep these past couple days and i tried to make up for getting only 3 hours of sleep in one night by getting 12 the next, my sleep cycle is fucked and all my body wants to do is lay in bed.

With that out of the way on to more important things. Last night was super fun, i went out to arlington to visit jeremy! yay i missed him a lot already. His parents were having a party and i got to come it was pretty awesome. We got joosed, as we normally do. We also had copious amounts of beer, played sonic on his sega, and called lilli. His friend lucas came over, and also Jimmy came over, it was good to see him, since i haven't seen him in a couple weeks. Lilli also called us at some point in the night and we talked to her for a while. I became best friends with jeremy's little sister annie once jimmy and lucas left cause she hung out with me while jer talked on the phone. We passed out somewhere around 4 i think. We woke up super early and i decided to leave. it was 9am. I however ended up sitting in my car for 30 minutes while the ice thawed off of it. I made it home in good time it only took a half an hour. Everytime i leave his house i end up coming a different way home and i don't know how it even happens, but it does. I walked in the house and got directly back in bed and tried to sleep until noon because i had to work at 1.

I still have absolutely no idea why i had to work today, i went in at 1 and got off at 4, it would have made a lot more sense for me to work those 3 hours if it was during the skins game, but they didnt even play until 4:15 so i made it home from work in time to see kick off and it was just getting really busy when i left, poor planning on their part. i mean sweet 3 extra hours on my paycheck, but really whatever. Excitment ensued at work when a little boy left 3 fake dragon tatoo's on his table and we put them on. I have the coolest dragon on my arm right now its purple and red and i feel like such a badass.

My brother and his fiance had us over for dinner tonight, we had steak, pork chops, corn, baked potatos, rice, salad, cookies. They got a new grill, dinner was delicious and it helped me shake the stupid hangover i had all day, i hadn't had a real hangover since like august and i hated it. As soon as i got home i got back in bed to watch tv but my sleepy body decided to take a nap...and as soon as i turned off the tv and closed my eyes 15 people decided it would be perfect to text me, so i am awake now and writing a blog that is stupid and not interesting.

Fun Facts! i filled up my entire gas tank for less that 20 dollars yesterday, i have to work tomorrow morning hopefully i will make some cash so i can go christmas shopping (which i still haven't done) and my friends wanna drink tonight but i don't know if i have it in me, i am lame lol. Also i want cookies.

Random song quote: "If she a pothead with too many zits. A movie star withinflatable tits." - Little T "Shaniqua don't live here no mo'"

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Home is Where the Beer is

Most people upon returning home for break from school actually do a lot less drinking then they did the entire school year. I however do not, because my friends at home drink just as much as my friends at school. The past 2 nights have been rediculous. I worked (yes i did) on tuesday night made about 70 bucks or so but then bought a case of beer, and had to declare more money in tips than i actually walked out with, that was depressing. Anyways, after work, ben ryan and i made the trip out to fairfax to visit kate. And by visit i mean drink heavily and pass out. Which is just what we did, I learned a new drinking game called landmines. I will be bringing that back to Shepherd with me, if you want to play i cannot describe it on here, we will have to hang out and i will show you in person. Anyway moral of the story, landmines gets you fucked up.

When i woke up on wednesday morning kate had just left to go nanny and i was switching from the bed i fell asleep in to her bed, cause i love her bed, i accidently slept until 1 when kate came home and proceeded to wake me up like this "HEY! ASSHOLE!!! GET UP!!!!" and i did because i was starving and it was one o clock. We went to noodles and company for lunch, and we both got macaroni and cheese, kate ate hers in less than 30 seconds, and was still hungry and got pot stickers. I didn't finish mine but luckily kate has a never ending pit in her stomach and finished it off for me. We came home laid in bed and watched a haunting on discovery and then kate took a nap.

We decided we were drinking again last night, which then required me to go to target to buy clothes cause all i had was sweats and a wings shirt and a shirt from cubby's 2 different restaraunts im such a fatass. I got a pair of underwear, a new bra because the one i was wearing literally broke in half the wire snapped honestly that shit would only happen to me, i got a t shirt and i ended up buying the cutest coat ever made, it was 50% off so i had to jump on it. We went to fridizzles (TGIFridays for those who don't know) and i got the cheesy bacon cheeseburger it has a layer of fried provelone on it, in other words its like heaven for your mouth. Then we stopped by another store for 2 cases of beer, and i scored big time cause they had red joose, it was my first time with red joose and it lived up to all of my expectations of it. Kates friend Colin brought 2 18 packs over. And a few people came over and we were all hammered. The toilet broke. CAN YOU BELIEVE THE TOILET BROKE!! i was freaking out cause it reminded me of empty the fridge the night. But i figured out what was wrong the chain is broken in the tank. Me and James somehow got it to flush and we were the heros, but we had to use the upstairs bathroom all night. Kate decided she was going to "make a sign" for the bathroom door. She took markers and wrote BROKE in huge letters on the door. Then fixed it a little and it says hey mother fuckers don't use this bathroom it is BROKEN! and then everyone wrote on it, even spongebob, he wrote his famous krusty krab pizza song. click that to see how awesome it is.

I woke up this morning the house reaked of booze and kate was going to work. We went to ihop i have no money again. When we got home sarah and i cleaned up and watched a haunting on discovery again (a lady got bit by a ghost). I am finally home and just ate some yummy pizza. Tomorrow i get to see jeremy! yay!! So for those of you who are wondering why the title of this blog is today was a shitshow, i hope you're getting the jist of how my life works. everyday is a shitshow.

Random Song Quote: "I like to fuck leather pants gerry curls"- Tila Tequila "i like to fuck"

Sunday, December 14, 2008

I Can't Believe it's Over...

Well girls and boys, Thursday marked the end of the semester for me, and most of my friends. It is really unbelievable that it is over already and I only have one more semester until I graduate. We ended the semester the only way we know how; lots of alcohol.

On Thursday katy moved out because she is leaving me next semester, which is totally weird considering we have lived together sooo long. Allie went home for break early in the afternoon, and Lilli and I went to martinsburg for the essential items needed for a blow out 2 nights. Essential item number one was the worst sweater ever for a tacky sweater party we were attending on thursday night. And essential item number two was aparently in our minds a handle of aristocrat vodka and a handle of this rum called ron pablo, no one ever buy that. Anyway, We got home with what we needed and made drinks at 3:30 and then Jeremy picked us up for dinner and we continued to drink from 5 until pass out time. Our sweaters were bangin though he is a lovely family portrait..

We made it home from the sweater party all in tact jeremy got a little bruised up from falling down the stairs, and being drug down a hallway, but they are minor injuries and he will heal up in no time.

Friday we woke up and cleaned the apartment because i forgot to mention that jeremy tried desperately to build a fort in our living room and the furniture was everywhere, but it is now back in place, and i did some of the dishes that were left in the sink and lilli did the rest when she woke up. I eventually took a shower and we were celebrating Peter's birthday, for those of you who do not know Peter is my sculpture head, we had a few people over to drink and celebrate no school. Kate, Sarah, and Kelly came up from VA for the festivity. The ron pablo and the bacardi 151 are almost gone and two 30 packs of bud light and a case of miller high life were all gone when we woke up on saturday morning. Peter was passed out on the beer pong table and my other sculpture guy Homer lost an eye. The night was a success. We played lots of games drank lots of alcohol danced to lots of michael jackson and forgot all about the semester that is now behind us. Here is my favorite picture of the night, sarah spilt her entire drink in our kitchen and all over Jeb's foot...

I had to drive home on saturday and go to a pampered chef party my mom was having. Lucky for me it was also a cocktail party. I got home at 3:15 and had to shower and be ready by 4 don't worry i did it. I then started drinking Titos (best vodka ever made) and cranberrys. Kate showed up and was makin margaritas and then my brother came over after the party and he also was having some SD's (strong drinks) with us, we put in the office DVD board game that katy got me for christmas and that was fun and then we ordered pan pizza from pizza hut and rented step brothers. I was pretty drunk by the end of the night, oh and we ran out of ice at some point, and my dad (who was also drinking titos and cranberry, but he only puts the cranberry in for color) decided we needed to get more so my brother drove us to the store, aparently this is what happened inside. Dad ran in quickly and then took 10 minutes to get a bag of ice. He didn't even wait in line though he just got a bag of ice and gave 3 dollars to a guy stocking the shelves and said i am taking this ice and ran back out. I wish i could have witnessed that.

Today was a day for recovery, unfortunately my football team sucks and forgot how to play football today so they lost to the bengals, and will not be in the playoffs yay! oh well im over it. I am also about to go to IHOP with ben and ryan that should be fun. And Lilli was going to come over today but she texted me and said she might just go home. I am assuming that is what happened because i haven't heard otherwise.

Random song quote: "Dance floor jam packed, hot as a teakettle"- "candy shop" 50 cent

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Odds and Ends

So, i am working hall security, its my last shift of the semester! yayyyy!! i haven't posted in a while and still don't have anything good to talk about but i am going to try a post out of my ass about the shenanigans we have gotten into since the picture post.

O.M.G. a girl and her boyfriend are making out hard core right in front of me in the lobby of maple i am so grossed out they are not a good looking couple, katy its the couple that you were just talking about on the way to wal-mart the punk one, omg they are still making out please please please stop this is so awkward central i cant handle it. okay they are done.

Anyway, on thursday nothing happened at all, lilli and i saw our break dancing dude in the gym and the rams den unfortunately he was not break dancing any of the two times we saw him. We had a delicious meal of chicken fingers and fries in the rams den on jeremy's meal plan, thanks jer! and then got home got showered got dressed and we went to the boys radio show, i was to embarassed to say anything on the radio, even though i am pretty sure that not to many people were listening to shepherd radio station at 10 o clock at night, but i was still to scared. Lilli said a joke on the radio it was pretty good lol. We went to tony's afterward and i only had 2 beers cause i had to drive my car back cause i didn't want a ticket i am so responsible. Tonys was fun though we had a good time and lilli and i and jeremy and i danced and we had a good time, like we always do.

Yesterday, lilli, dave, jake, and i went to buffalo wild wings for dinner, if you have not been there and you loooooove buffalo wings i highly suggest you go there. we had a lot of yummy food and jake drank 2 giant beers because he was nervous to go to the art show we were about to attend, because he said that he always says the wrong things at them so i told him not to talk. he did good for the most part. The show was really good, jeremy had a piece in it which was totally awesome loved it jer! and there was all sorts of crazy art work that really made you think for a little. This one girl had a little booth set up and was taking pictures of people during the show and then they were playing on a slide show on the wall next to the booth. She like had you sit in a chair and then close your eyes and did something to affect one of your senses and as soon as you made the face she took the picture, it was really cool and funny to look at all the pictures that she took. After that we went over to the boys house and it was like 32 degrees in there so we went home and put on 12 layers of clothes so we weren't cold anymore.

Jeremys two friends from home were up visiting for his art show and they are twins! the coolest twins in the world in fact. Tommy (one of the twins) showed us a new fun drinking game called superlatives, where you come up with a question like most likely to get arrested by the end of the semester or something like that and then everyone has everyone elses name on a piece of paper and you put in who you think is most likely to do that and if your name gets thrown in you have to figure out who put you and if you guess right they drink if you guess wrong you drink. i think it is the most fun game in the state, maybe even the world. Then when we woke up tommy was sleeping on the church pew which made my day.

For lunch we went to the beloved bettys. Lilli was a virgin to the place so she was probably most excited but then again i get that excited everytime we decide that we are going to go. Jeremy got a rumsey burger i decided i shouldn't even attempt one again its way to big for me and i know this but i do enjoy how delicious it is. I got a grilled ham and cheese, argueably the second best thing on the menu omg it is so good im not even hungry right now and i want a grilled ham and cheese. Lilli and dave got the same thing i think its called a country skillet bowl it has everything one person wants for breakfast combined in a bowl, i think there is home fries eggs gravy either with sausage or with chipped beef cheese and a biscuit. ahh what will they come out with next, bettys solves all your food dilemmas.

Oh i forgot to say we stopped at wal-mart last night cause lilli and i are going to tie dye some t shirts so we got a kit im so psyched. buttttttt i was thinking about how freaking expensive my total was cause i bought the t shirts and lilli bought the dye, i also had to get some paint brushes and glue, and my total was 22 dollars and i didn't think anything of it because we were in a hurry to get to the art show. But today i was all like waiiiiit hold up 22 dollars for 10 dollar pack on shirts, 72 cent paint brushes and 2 dollar glue, now that doesn't add up, so i looked at my receipt and the lady somehow also rang me up for the tie dye, even though lilli bought it before me and had already paid for it and was holding it in a bag, how weird. So i called today and the manager said just come in and go to the service desk they will take care of you so katy and i made the trek out to wal mart and i stood in line at customer service and katy got chap stick and a book about cookies. i got my 10 dollars back and was happy and then got a baconater for dinner lol and katy got arbys and ate the entire meal before we got home i enjoyed mine at our apartment and now i am sitting at the desk in maple. someone broke a bottle of vinigar down here and it smells but im used to it but everyone keeps talking to me about it like i have all the answers lol.

random song quote: "she cook she clean never smells like onion rings" - webbie "independent"

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Picture Post!

Jeremy, one of my wonderful friends, and pictured with me above decided i should do a picture post, i have some pretty excellent pictures so i did and this is it, enjoy there will be few words mostly pictures.
This is a picture of me and my wonderful family they are the coolest people any one will ever meet, this was taken at charles town races and slots for my moms birthday a couple years ago.

This is Dave and Jeremy, they stole my beer can, at least i think it is dave, his face is completely covered, the note says "if you ever want to see your beer can again bring mad alcohol to 301" that can was lost all year, it is safely back in my apartment.

This is a random party we had at our apartment, pictured: Front row L to R Marshall, me, Jake, Katy Back Row Andy, and Dave, dave is my favorite part of this picture

This was the night katy met her boyfriend nick, also it is one my most favorite pictures of her and i, i think she hates it lol

This is a picture of me and lilli pwning at beer pong, i believe we just won that game and that is our celebratory dance, pretty awesome huh?

This was actually taken during empty the fridge night, i tried to get all 4 of us in it but you can only see daves chin and nothing else

This was taken at Chubbys in Philly, they sold Colt 45, that is the coolest thing ever.

This is good picture of the 4 of us from philly, were all actually looking at the camera and look like we like each other, which is good :-)

This was taken on the drive up, i actually got that one with only half a car in it, i feel like that is superior photo skills

This was somewhere on our way to philly, we were probably on or around martin luther king blvd. It is tyrone's chicken, anyone wanna eat there?

This was taken over at the boys house some night, jake looks terrified, and who can blame him? lilli is holding a bud heavy, and i have a bottle of bacardi gold who wants to guess that night didn't end well?

This is 3 out of the 4 lovely ladies who live in our apartment, we usually always look like that too

So i decided i don't like the joke of the day and i am changeing it to random song quote of the day. Here is the first one.
"haters get mad cause i got me some bathin apes" - soulja boy "crank that"

Monday, December 1, 2008

Empty the Fridge?

Well Jeremy is graduating in 2 weeks, this is a very sad thought, but we had a party last night for him. We were supposed to empty the fridge, but you can't really do that with only 7 people, we probably would have died if the fridge was actually emptied. We did however drink A LOT of alcohol. My mom contributed 140 jello shooters, which were gone when i woke up this morning.

We decided to keep track of how much we were drinking by having a card and everyone had a different color marker and a different color had to give you your mark. It was a good idea, here is what they looked like..
this was obviously early in th night, no one has that many check marks yet..

If you were to see the cards as i saw them when i left everyone had like a million dash marks, and on the back we were keeping track of jello shooters, i think dave ate 50 of them by himself. he was really champin it up.

Well, we started drinking really early like at 4. We were all blacked out at 8, i think more people came over and we were all hammered lol, how pissed would you be if you showed up at your friends house at 8 and everyone was already hammed. So dave and i passed out in a chair together and he was holding a beer and he spilt the entire thing on us, and my pants were soaking wet. I think that is why i ended up taking my pants of for the rest of the night...i don't know what time that was but im guessing it was pretty early because everyone was asleep before midnight. Then as i was laying in bed, aaron knocked on daves door letting us know that the toilet over flowed, everyone blamed me but it was not me, and i fixed it in my shirt no pants and daves HUGE skater like shoes. i looked awesome.

I woke up this morning confused of where i was and what time it was and where my pants were. Lilli and i had to get back to campus because we had 9:10 classes today, awesome. I woke up at about 8 and then went to jeremys room for a while and we relived the fact that we were all blacked out and passed out before midnight, i found my pants but did not put them on because they were still wet and smelled like a bud heavy. I did however find a pair of pj pants in my car that i put on, they were bright yellow with christmas lights on them. Lilli and i had to sit in my car forever cause it was frozen solid and i couldn't drive it yet we stopped at mcdonalds where i got a glimpse of myself in the window and thought to myself or maybe it was outloud "how do i have any friends?" I got 2 hashbrowns and a GIANT sprite at mcdonalds, came home with a mild hangover and went to yoga, and thought i was going to have sprint out and vom because we were doing this crazy rocking thing that wasn't helping.

So the night was a success in that we got wasted, but we did not empty the fridge, were going to have to drink it all this weekend i suppose.

Joke of the Day: What did the left nut say to the right nut?

The guy in the middle thinks he is so hard

Saturday, November 29, 2008

What a Break!

Well, it has been a week since i wrote a blog. I've been super busy seeing family and friends and whatnot. I finally have some free time to update ya'll on my wonderful crazy life. here is break in day order.

Sunday: Remember how the last time i wrote, we had just gotten back from philly, and i was super tired, well i started my thanksgiving break by going to sleep at 2 am and being woken up by my dad at 9am, because he is redoing my bathroom and had some crazy loud saw in the bathroom, which i interestingly enough share a wall with is so it sounded like he was tearing down my bedroom wall, it was impossible to sleep through so i got up and ate bacon. thank god there was bacon. My mom decided to take off all week so i got to see her all day everyday which was nice. Also the skins beat the seahawks that night and we had steak for dinner so that was good.

Monday: since gary (my dad) refused to let me sleep in on sunday, i slept until 2pm on monday it was awesome. When i woke up my grandma was at my house with cinnamon buns (awesome). But was giving me bad news that because the bathroom is getting redone my mom needed to stay at home all day tomorrow cause the new bathtub was coming and i had to take grandma to the doctors office. okay i can do that. I also hung out with my good friend Ed and we watched superbad, which never gets old no matter how many times you watch it.

Tuesday: Up at 7am to drive grandma to the doctors office she was told to be there at 8, we got there at 7:45. We then sat in the waiting room until 10:10 when they finally called her back. HOLY SHIT make an old lady and her cranky tired granddaughter sit in the waiting room for over 2 hours, thanks. Luckily for me they had some danke ass coffee and grandma bought me a nature valley bar and i then had energy, to do nothing, cause i was in a waiting room. I was supposed to go to lunch with my sister at 11:30 but grandma wasn't done yet and i left her there and my mom had to go pick her up she finally got home at 12:30, why did that take so long? I went to lunch with valerie and we had japanese food it was delicious. I came home took a shower and waited for kate to call me and i went out to fairfax around 6 we got fridays for dinner, and i ordered a drink called volcano exlposion or something i think it was just liquor cause i was tipsy after dinner, and it cost as much as my fucking meal. We proceeded to drink heavily all night and had a boonsfarm circle which made me miss my peeps in sheptown.

Wednesday: Holy shit wednesday, brad (my brother) and i went out to happy hour at chilis at about 3:45 we had about 6 beers there and then went to our place of employment, buffalo wing factory and proceeded to drink there until 8, our bill was like 30 bucks so i think we had 15 beers. We were hammer time and his fiance had to drive us home, at his house i fell down the steps and couldn't beat guitar hero on easy cause i had to close one eye to see the notes. Kate came and got me and we went to ihop with ben and ryan where i scarffed down coffee cake pancakes with apples and cinnamon on them(they were so good) eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, and was white knuckling one of kates cheese sticks. Shit was good. I passed out at 1:30 and was so excited for dinner.

Thursday: Brad didn't come for thanksgiving dinner and he really missed out me and my sister sang an awesome rendition of bohemiem rhapsody for my grandma cause she told us she had never heard of queen (yeah right everyone knows who they are) Valerie also made 2 different kinds of rolls and cinnamon butter. There was lots of food eaten. And valerie made pumpkin cheesecake and chocolate pumpkin mini pies i had a piece of cheese cake and a mini pie. Then i went over to kates to see her family and her grandparents..I had another piece of pie (i hate my life) Kates dad's friends wife (did ya follow) is from thailand and speaks like no english and she was talking to me, i think she was telling me i was really pretty and that i need to smile more often and i sat down with coffee that i later found myself chugging to get out of the presence of this woman who was plastered and not making any sense and sitting in my chair with me with her arms around me not letting me get up, kate and i made a run for it over to my house for an hour and when we got back that lady was passed out in kates sisters bed. I had to sleep at grandmas cause val and i were going shopping in the morning...luckily valerie brought season 5 of the golden girls.

Friday: We woke up at 3:30 am. I can't beleive i woke up at that hour, we went to kohls at 4 am the line was wrapped around the buliding to get in i have no idea why we got in valerie bought a lot of stuff for people then we went to the mall i bought 5 pair of underwear. valerie bought a lot of stuff, she ended up saving 200 dollars at ann taylor though cause she got a 2 dresses one was originally 100 dollars the other was 80 and a pair of pants that were also 80 and when it rang up it was only 50 bucks for all 3. There were crazy lines outside both radio shack and game stop and we had chic fila for breakfast mmmm. We got back to grandmas at 7:30 and i got back in bed til 11. We had waffles and leftovers for lunch (its a family tradition waffles the day after) And then we went to wings for dinner and i had my first legal beer with my mom and dad. I then went out to fridays with ben and ryan and i was DD. I am so responsible, they drank some long islands and some 7 and 7's and i enjoyed my water. I did however get some joose for kate and i and we got joosed later in the night. I woke up in the morning and kate's mom made me ham and eggs mmmmm.

Saturday: well it technically hasn't happened yet, but were going to reston town center for my brothers best friends birthday tonight, and i am packing up somethings to go back home tomorrow.

This is a long blog and i'm sorry, but i had to squeeze it all in, becuase i know empty the fridge day (tomorrow) will have to be its own blog. I am bringing like 100 and some jello shooters, so beware people its going to be a shitshow. I miss everybody and can't wait to see them again!

Joke of the day: What do you do with a years worth of used condoms?

Melt them, turn them into a tire and call it a good year.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Innn West Philadelphia...

Today was awesome. We as in Me, Lilli, Dave, and Jeremy drove to Philly for 3 things. 1. to get lilli an ID, 2. to get delicious cheese steaks, and 3. to meet gram (jeremy's grandma). All things on that list were a great success. however, you can't have a road trip with ridiculous things happening to you correct?

Jeremy scored us a GPS from marshall last night so we did not look up any directions and trusted Doreen (that is what we named her) to get us to Philly safe and sound. But doreen, she had a different idea. She was going to get us there alright, but she was going to take us through the projects of every city, especially baltimore, it was scary luckily i was quick on my feet and snapped some really good pictures of the scary place we were in. here are a few..

In this picture, we see a few of the awesome houses in innercity baltimore, it was utterly terrifying, all of our doors were locked but i was still scared.

In this picture please note that there is barbed wire alllllll around the top of that fence, why did doreen do this to us you ask? so we could have awesome picture i suppose.

Moving on, we then encountered an awesome bilboard sign that said and looked like this... if you can't read the bottom part it says teach your kid it's not a dirty word.

So, once we got through all the scary shit we then came to a road that made everyone laugh because this is what it was called, haha, funny cause blue balls are funny, but wait 20 min. later we saw this one...

the way there was quite an adventure, i am glad doreen took us that route, even though jeremy was in the backseat screaming at us that we should not listen a word she was saying because she was wrong, oh but she got us there a few hilarious pictures and jokes later, we never would have awesome pictures like this if we just took 95 up, now would we jeremy.

It took us most of the day to do this trip, literally from like 10:30 until 9:30, but it was well worth it. I even got a t-shirt from chubby's the place we got cheese steaks mmmm they were delicious.

Everything happened very successfully, we got lilli's id, which is really legit, and that transaction wasn't sketchy at all (just kidding) but seriously why hasn't that place been shut down? oh well, my friend has one i don't care if they shut down now. We had delicious cheese steaks, oh and Chubby's sold colt 45 40's it was pretty awesome, and the two kids in line in front of us bought two smirnoff ice's they are cool. And we got to meet jeremy's gram, she called jake a pansy cause he met her before and he is scared of her. I think she is the most awesome lady ever!

We stopped for coffee on the way home, and someone at that reststop was smoking weed hard core, we wanted to score some, and said if we did jake would be so mad he didn't come and went to work instead, but at least he is scoring some big bills there. We took the boring route home, which was probably a good idea that we weren't in baltimore at night time. we dropped the boys off and then i got in my car and drove back to northern virginey. I am now very sleepy from the day and will probably go to sleep. but here is the best picture we managed to take of the 4 of us..

Joke of the day:
What did the penis say to the condom?
cover me, i'm going in!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

randomy randomness

This semester as most of you know, i am taking a sculpture class, it is really fun and cool and stuff, but i thought it was all going a bit to well for me and knew my luck would soon run out. We have been working on making a sculpture head for literally the entire semester, it started in august and it should be complete by december 9, thats a long time to work on something. Anyway my head was really cool when he was made out of clay and i just wanted to put him in the oven and bake the clay, but that is not what we did, instead we had to a painstakingly long process of casting it and then let it sit for 2 weeks after we poured the plaster into the mold. Then you literally get a chisel and a pipe and beat the living shit out of it until it reveals the beautiful head you made. Unless of course you are me, in which case you beat the living shit out of it just to find that most of his hair is crumbling and is lost amongst the rubble, and his ear is gone as well.

Once that happened i had a mini freak out and then his face turned out okay until it cracked and then i lost all hope for it. My head isn't the only one having this problem, in fact today my teacher and i managed to fix Peter ( thats my heads name) up pretty good and he will be a brand new man after thanksgiving break which by the way starts for me tomorrow at noon. Hell to the yeah!

Moving on, Tonight jake made me dinner :-) well not just me, he made it for me jeremy and dave. It was so yummy. And he didn't just make it for fun, it was actually for a class and his final project is to make dinner in an hour from scratch. It is a hard task i did it last year, but i think jakes turned out really good. He made us buffalo chicken burgers with bleu cheese mixed into them and deviled eggs and some bangin ass pasta salad which i have the leftovers of in my fridge at the moment. So my hat goes off to jake for this yummy dinner and congratulations for doing so well in the class!

And last, but certainly not least...
remember my blog the other day about how we saw that big huge asian breakdancing in sara cree and in the student center?? well here is some great news, we saw him warming up like you know running in a circle like breakdancers do in sara cree again the other day and we tried to slowly walk out of the building in hopes of seeing some of his moves again but unfortunately we walked to fast. Buttttttttt we did find out from lilli, who works at the info center that this guy is in fact the president of a breakdancing club on campus becuase he reserved a room for a meeting, i need somebody to join this club and tell me everything because i certainly will not join.

oh and since everyone else has a cool little blah blah blah of the day i want one too and mine is going to be a joke of the day and here is todays:

how did burger king get dairy queen pregnant?
he forgot to wrap his whopper

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

His Name is Still Ryan O'Connell

Pronounced: douchebag.

Okay, so in order to know what i am talking about in this blog you are going to have to refer over to katys blog to read the original 'His Name is Ryan O'Connell' it will probably take you a second to find it but if you have not yet read it please read it before reading this one.

Anyway, I was recently thinking about ryan o'connell and why he up and left that one day and out of curiosity i texted him the other day in hopes of an answer, the following conversation insued.

me: so did you ever come up with an excuse as to why you peaced out of my apartment that one night?

him: i don't remember so what are you doing tonight?

me: omg you are such an ass. Really u got up out of my bed said i have to pee and left and never said another word and now you're asking me what i'm doing tonight?

him: you mean at shepherd

me: yes i do

him: well sorry you were a prude

me: so you really did just come up to fuck me and when i didn't want to thats why you left?

him: No but i had to be somewhere thats why i left in a hurry

me: so you left because i was a prude and you had to be somewhere 20 minutes after you got here. Even though we were supposed to watch a movie?

This is where Katy interviened and said OMG you have to get him back up here so we can be mean to him, i orginally thought this was a good idea but later got freaked out and she made me send him this next message.

me: well can i prove to you that im not a prude?

him: yeah well when can i come over

me: um i have a meeting tonight, but can you do late on wednesday?

the next day...
him: hey i can come over anytime today after 5

I did not reply to this text message then he called me...3 times and left a voicemail saying the same thing as that text. i finally texted him back after leaving the gym..

me: hey whats up i just got out of the gym

him: im in the gym too whens a good time to come up
i did not respond

him: hey whats up can i come up

me: what time?

him: whenever, just call me

him: well it would take me 40 min to get there

him: are you there

me: yeah, your really desperate for some ass aren't you? Did you really think i wanted to see you again after what you did? I know you just really wanted ass, sorry.

him: yeah

me: wow, im glad you can admit it. Sorry im not going fuck you.

so that was our conversation this kid really is a douchebag who just wants to fuck you, i never heard of anything like that ever ever ever.

*side note: mad props to whoever did the chair/gumball knock and ditch last night very impressive, i am guessing it was jake. good job boy.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Shepherd Breeds the Uncoordinated.

Last night, Lilli and I were gettin our swoll on at the gym, we normally get our swoll on on mondays. Well luckily for us we had to pee last night before doing our cardio work out...and upon leaving the restroom we saw a 300 pound asian boy? man? kid? Whatever he was, he was attemptin to break dance in front of 2 girls who i am assuming he was trying to woo. Anyway we caught the tail end of it, and he attemping like a half way hand stand and fell to the ground with the loudest fucking thud one person has ever made. IT WAS SO FUNNY. but we didn't laugh, no we are not that mean, just kidding we laughed just not in his ear shot and lilli whispered something like "did that really just happen?" we got over it pretty quickly, i however found myself in zumba last night, which is just dance cardio, we had a new lady there last night tryin it out. MOST UNCOORDINATED WOMAN EVER. i'm not saying i can dance or hold a beat but God Damn i must look like a professional next to this woman. I couldn't even glance over at her during the class because it threw me off she was doing something that didnt look ANYTHING like what was supposed to be happening...After zumba me and lilli pumped iron and saw nothing out of the ordinary until dinner time.

We decided to get some fucking good ass wraps from the bistro i got a buffalo chicken wrap cause duh it was monday, lilli got a chicken salad wrap cause her last buff chick wrap was giant or something. Well we were sitting minding our own business but who do i see sitting at the table behind us but the 300 pound asian person we had previously saw in sara cree. I laughed cause i remembered his failed attempt at some sort of break dancing move earlier in the night. Low and behold this kid gets up from his seat when i immediately inform lilli to turn around. He was on the ground this time with 3 girls watching attempting to do break dancing flairs, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RAMS DEN. i was embarassed for him, this kid was originally going to just be a side note in blog, but i saw him twice doing something so ridiculous i had to write the whole thing just about him. I got this text from lilli this morning..."oh my gosh, the kid that was doing breakdancing last night was just moonwalking in the rams den."

i ask you boys and girls, what is his problem. however i am glad we have so many characters that go to this school they make your day that much better.

real side note: road trip with some cool people this weekend so so so excited :-)

Monday, November 17, 2008

the dvd player sucks!

So, I know i did not update my blog yesterday for this i appologize. But i do have some pretty good stories to tell you.

1. On saturday night i went out with my roommate allie, we drank here for a little then went to tony's where i chugged 2 vodka cranberries and some guy bought me a red headed slut. i was drunk. while there i saw my good friend patty and his friend. i talked to them the whole time and then allie said we are going to the baseball house and i was all "okay sweet!" so we went, once there i realized there wasn't a real party happening it was just a bunch of baseball players and us, and allie left like 20 minutes after we got there and left me there with the entire baseball team, not that i'm complaining cause we got some good looking baseball players, but still i didn't know anyone and because of this was the center of attention, i did however drink more there and was almost completely shithoused when kristie came back to get me at THREE in the morning after allie had been comfortably sleeping in her bed for a good 2 hours. I then proceeded to text my one friend and said something to embarassing to put in a blog, and was ashamed so i made sure to text him the next day appologizing for myself and telling him to delete that text and never speak of it again, he politely said its okay hill, you're awesome.

2. Last night Lilli came home!!! YAY! i missed her she was in boston from thursday until late last night, i was thrilled she came home. Anyway, sometime last week we stole the 'its always sunny in philadelphia' dvds from some of our coolest friends in the whole world, they had no idea we had these dvds. It was very easy to do, we walked into their house took them and left and they never even knew we were there. So we created a ransom note that is pretty B.A. (badass) and delivered it to their house last night. I'm not sure if they found the note yet, but we also took a picture of ourselves with said dvds and texted it to them last night, i am assuming some sort of awful retaliation is in store for us...

3. With the story above said, you now have a little bit of a background for this one. A few years ago, i bought a dvd player for our apartment, it was like 20 dollars and it got the job done. Recently it has been being a huge bitch. it does things such as skips lots of dvds, always tells me i am inserting the wrong disc when i know for a fact i am not. It is just a huge piece of shit, well actually it is small so a small piece of shit. Friday night, allie tried to watch some movies in it and the dvd player read wrong disc for every single one. I think the last straw for this guy was that lilli accidently left it on all night and i think it was to much for it to handle. Last night, we wanted to watch the its always sunny dvds, so we go put them in and low and behold the fucking dvd player says "wrong disc" every time we tried. We got mad, so we decided to just take it out and watch it in lilli's computer, but now the dvd player won't open we had to pry the little flap down and then use tools to make it move at all. Once it came out, the dvd was no where in sight, we paniced for a split second but then decided we needed to fully take apart our dvd player, so we did and right now our dvd player is in like 4 pieces out in the living room and we were able to watch our show.

Hopefully later i will have a few pictures of our night last night...

Saturday, November 15, 2008


upon hearing the sad sad news that Betty's was closing, we went for lunch today and like i said got a rumsey burger, a rumsey burger is like a big mac only like 100 times bigger and 200 times better, i am the worst rumsey burger eater ever, i can barely even finish mine while nick finished within 5 minutes of recieving his and jeremy shortly after that, i was still trying to finish it after everyone at the table had finished eating. Anyway, we asked our waitress if the horrible rumor was true that betty's was closing down. She said no way, and if the owner now decides to sell it that she personally would buy it and keep it going, with that weight off our chests we were able to relax knowing that wouldn't be our last time in betty's.

Anyway, i recently was linked to this website, it is called the impossible quiz, apparently there are 110 questions in it, it is the hardest fucking 'quiz' in the whole world i think i have gotten to number 82, here try it people and good luck..
If you get passed 82 please tell me how to do it cause its hard no lie.

Also, last night i bought MD 20/20 why i thought that was a good idea is beyond me but i don't want to buy it ever again, or at least not for a while :-) I wish i had a funny story to tell about last night, but i really don't except we went to get more things to drink at like 11, and i got a little tiny reese's cup it was 15 cents i think that is a rip off, but it really caught my eye and i reallllllllly wanted it.

There was really no point to this blog, but like i said in the previous one i am going to try and write one every day. Now i'm going to try and get a paper started hopefully something awesome will happen tonight so i can tell a cool story tomorrow :-)

Friday, November 14, 2008

My First One!

Well, this is my very first blog. I decided I should jump on the bandwagon. Everyone I know has a blog, why not me too?

A few things you should know is i don't use grammer correctly or like capitalize things, so throughout my blogs they probably won't be grammatically correct so sorry if that bothers you. I also am not a very good speller, so i'm sorry :-)

Well lets see for the first blog what can i write about?
Today i had to give a tour of campus to the most socially awkward boy in the history of awkwardness, and his mother. His mother seemed super nice and awesome however she got her masters in reading...thats strange. Anyway, this boy was staring at my chest almost throughout the entire tour. I don't know if he was actually looking at boobs or what, but he was staring hard core, i will give him the benefit of the doubt and say he was trying to read my shirt, but i had a zip hoodie on and you couldn't really see it, and the neckline on my shirt wasn't scandalous or anything I reallllllllllly hope he was just trying to read my shirt, otherwise that is creepy. I think he might go to school here however, he seemed very interested he is from morgantown, and why would anyone wanna go to a school with 27,000 other people?

In other news, our most favorite place to eat, Bettys, is closing down. This is the worst news of the entire day. We are going there this weekend in hopes of getting the most delicious rumsey burger one last time.

Well that is about it for the day, I will try and post a new one everyday so keep checking back!