Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I am 60% Irish...

...and 40% pennsylvanian according to my daddy. so that is reason enough to have a complete shit show on st.pattys day.

It started off like a normal day i went about my business of the day slowly thinking about the night that was upon me. I drove out to fairfax to celebrate with kate and sarah. kate was working so she met us later. sarah and i went out earlish we got to the first bar (buffalo wing university) at a little bit before 8:30 as we were walking in a man was standing in the door way letting everyone know that he has already had 12 irish car bombs and that in fact he is irish so he has a reason for drinking that many. we later saw him taking about 4 more and by the time we left he had spilled a shit load of drinks and had a roll of paper towels cleaning up.

however they had really good prices here, such as 1$ killians and 1$ rail drinks and these things they were calling leprechaun bombs for 2$. sarah and i went up to the bar and ordered a vodka cranberry and one of these so called leprechaun bombs. they were supposed to be flavored she ordered sour apple and i got peach. when they arrived we cheers to st.patrick and then downed those suckers. our faces probably looked like we were in pain the entire time we were chugging them because they literally tasted like someone peed in a cup mixed it with red bull and added a little bit of liquor. there was no flavor either, and we tried to cover up the fact that they tasted so bad by drinking our vodka cranberry super fast, but it just tainted the taste of those too. so we drank 2 drinks in less than 10 minutes because we had to get some more before 9. we each got a killians and another vodka cranberry and went and sat down and talked to some people and what not. then we switched to bud light. we drank 2 called a cab and were going to go meet kate at the blue iguana, we ordered one more beer to drink before the taxi got here, when it did, we went outside just in time to see it pulling away with 4 people who were not sarah and i, luckily this girls ride showed up right around then and he took us to our next destination.

upon getting there sarah and i got blueberry vodka mixed with sprite, it was pretty good, they were having karaokee and we were gettin hammered. i don't remember what else we had before kate got there, where we proceeded to get dirty shirlys (which are awesome) sex on teh beach shooters, vodka cranberrys, tequila sunrises, and kate took a shot of glodshlagger and some dirty bong waters, annnnd some sort of layered shot called sex with an one knows wtf it is. at some point in this array of drinks sarah vomited all over the bathroom stall and her jeans. and shortly after she face planted out of a bar stool and onto the ground..and spilt her drink everywhere. i eventually called us a cab and we made the trip home.

once in the cab, kate and sarah told our driver to go to mcdonalds. his name was steve and he was awesome. he obliged and drove us to a 24 hour drive through. we bought him a milkshake and 2 apple pies. i got a quarter pounder and kate and sarah got nugs. sarah was raging and yelling at kate almost teh whole way home and threw a nugget covered in ranch at her face and then kate wiped all the ranch on sarahs shirt. it was quite a fight and i kept telling them to shut it cause steve didn't wanna hear them fighting. he played us some country music that in our drunken stuper we had forgotten all the words to the songs we would know in a sober mind. steve got us home safely and we tipped him fucking 45 dollars for a 30 dollar cab ride. i gave him 20 sarah gave him 40 and kate gave him 15. lucky son of a bitch. once inside sarah was still pissed at kate and was sceaming and calling her a cunt. then everyone passed out.

in the morning we told sarah she is never allowed to drink again and we ate noodles and co. for lunch.

i love st.pattys day.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Robert the Doll

If any of you know me, and i know you do, you know i love and hate to be scared. i love to hear scary stories i like to see scary things i love to watch scary movies and it all usually fucks me over by the time its time to go to sleep and will screw my sleep cycle up pretty badly, a good example of this is after i saw the exorcism of emily rose, i literally had to stay up until three am every single day because that is when the bad things happened in the movie and if they were going to happen i wanted to be awake for them not be awaken by them. but dispite all that, i still love being scared.

With that being said, today i went to visit my sister today to get my bridesmaid dress (it was at her house) and we got on the topic of the show 'a haunting' on discovery channel and i was telling her about a few of the really scary ones. She then brought up this doll his name is robert, or Robert the Doll as he is widely known around the world, she thought i should have already heard about him, but she was wrong i did not. She told me a little bit about him and so as soon as i got home, i googled him

This is a picture of Robert the Doll. He is a three foot tall doll and holds a lion was hand made and is dressed in a sailor suit. He looks so scary just off hand. So the story goes something along the lines of this family the Ottos lived in Key West Florida and they had this really pretty really big house, so they had a lot of servants and such living there. there was one particular woman who was in charge of their son, robert eugene otto, they called him gene. Apparently this woman and Mrs. Otto got into a tiff and mrs.otto fired this woman. she was from jamaica and was into voodoo, which is also scary. She made this 3 foot tall doll for gene, which was named after him thats how we got robert the doll. before jamaica gave this doll to gene she supposedly put a curse on it, because duh she was mad at mrs otto for firing her ass. I don't think jamaica could have made robert more terrifying looking. Anyways, Robert had like a mind of his own and was often times heard giggling and talking to gene, but gene was totes obcessed with robert and literally brought him everywhere, he brought him to town he had a place at the dinner table, he waiting on the toilet til gene was done taking a bath and he was always tucked in right next to gene when he went to sleep.
It is said that in teh beginning they never knew it was robert and everything that was happening, such as shit being ripped up toys being broken silverware being thrown everywhere, it was all being blamed on poor gene and he always tried to tell everyone it was robert, but no one believed him. and sometimes when servants or mrs otto heard the conversations happening in the bedroom she would barge in and usually gene would be like cowering in a corner and robert would be sitting in a chair or the bed glaring down at gene. Mrs otto got tired of this and put robert in the attic, he stayed there for a while but was unhappy in the attic and in genes older life he stayed living in that house and was still slightly obcessed with robert. He took him out of the attic and put him in another room so he could have a view of the street. Passerbys said they have seen robert moving around in there, or could hear him laughing. it terrifys children who walk past. Once gene got married his wife immediately hated robert and wanted to get rid of him, so again he was placed in the attic and once gene died his wife left the house and robert was left in the attic.
He remained there for a long while, until a new family moved in, and they discovered robert, he was evil and one night they woke up and robert was standing at the foot of their bed with a knife, that was enough for them and they left. Robert however lived on. He is in a museum in Key West and you can go see him,and every october they put him in a glass box in the original house he lived in, so you can go there to see him and they recommend if you do to introduce yourself, one lady that didn't said that when she came home robert followed her because she would often see the face of a doll in her window and her lights in her bedroom wouldn't work.
My sister has been to the exhibit in the museum, she said that there are letters sent in by people who had terrible things happen to them after they met robert, it could be coincidence, but it is still creepy. but the scariest thing she told me was that the last time they were there, her and nick were buying a cup from the gift shop and the woman who ran it asked them if they wanted to see some pictures that people had taken of robert during their visit in december. They sent them to them in a plain envelope with no return address and my sister was looking at them and they were just pictures of robert, but in the background of them was the fucking grim reaper. the people sent all the pictures and the negitives to them because they were so scared and they didn't want them in their house. HOW FUCKING SCARY IS THAT???
anyways, that is it...oh and apparently you can buy robert if you want. he is probably pretty pricey, and he might kill you and your family. but you can own him. does anyone wanna go to key west to check out this little gem?

Friday, March 13, 2009

My car is awesome! (not)

So, my car really is awesome, its a convertible, its a stick shift and its so awesome. it kind of looks like the batmobile. i feel like a badass when i drive it. its pretty awesome. HOWEVER, every few months it breaks. i swear my parents have put as much money into fixing the damn thing as how much they paid for it to begin with. with that being said i will give a brief synopsis as to what has gone wrong with my lovely little car.

When i first got it, it was awesome nothing ever broke on it. then i got to school and it sat at my house for the whole summer cause i didn't take it with me, and when i brought it with me my sophomore year and the power steering went out in it. that was so awesome, it happened in a parking lot of a gas station with my friend bridget and i let some guy drive it to figure out what was wrong with it, why am i so dumb? he said he didn't know. DUH! so i took it to the shop and they fixed it. it cost a lot but my parents paid for it. after that got fixed it was good for a while, til i had to get it inspected over the summer, and it failed and i don't even remember what all was wrong with it, but it cost 1000 dollars to fix and when i went to go pick it up the place had put 50 miles on it and drained my gas tank. awesome. after that it was good again for a while, then someone slashed the tire at school, that wasn't the cars fault but i still had to get a new tire, then it had all the little problems cars have, and then this year it was making super weird noises whenever i drove and turned it and everyone had a different idea of what it was, so again i brought it in. They said a hose was leaking and fixed it. They also mentioned that the breaks were going to need to be fixed. my mom said i could get them done when i got home cause our friend can do it, so i got them fixed when i got home. k so all that happened, and today on my way home, i was on my way to get the state inspection because well it was expired, and low and behold..."ms.sisson, there was a problem with your car.." the back breaks need to be replaced before it can pass the state inspection.

so now that i got that off my chest i am going to go lay down in my bed til they call me and say its fixed. and do you realize that everytime i have had to get this car fixed they always say thats the last time you'll need to get this looked at for a while. LIARS all of them.