...and 40% pennsylvanian according to my daddy. so that is reason enough to have a complete shit show on st.pattys day.
It started off like a normal day i went about my business of the day slowly thinking about the night that was upon me. I drove out to fairfax to celebrate with kate and sarah. kate was working so she met us later. sarah and i went out earlish we got to the first bar (buffalo wing university) at a little bit before 8:30 as we were walking in a man was standing in the door way letting everyone know that he has already had 12 irish car bombs and that in fact he is irish so he has a reason for drinking that many. we later saw him taking about 4 more and by the time we left he had spilled a shit load of drinks and had a roll of paper towels cleaning up.
however they had really good prices here, such as 1$ killians and 1$ rail drinks and these things they were calling leprechaun bombs for 2$. sarah and i went up to the bar and ordered a vodka cranberry and one of these so called leprechaun bombs. they were supposed to be flavored she ordered sour apple and i got peach. when they arrived we cheers to st.patrick and then downed those suckers. our faces probably looked like we were in pain the entire time we were chugging them because they literally tasted like someone peed in a cup mixed it with red bull and added a little bit of liquor. there was no flavor either, and we tried to cover up the fact that they tasted so bad by drinking our vodka cranberry super fast, but it just tainted the taste of those too. so we drank 2 drinks in less than 10 minutes because we had to get some more before 9. we each got a killians and another vodka cranberry and went and sat down and talked to some people and what not. then we switched to bud light. we drank 2 called a cab and were going to go meet kate at the blue iguana, we ordered one more beer to drink before the taxi got here, when it did, we went outside just in time to see it pulling away with 4 people who were not sarah and i, luckily this girls ride showed up right around then and he took us to our next destination.
upon getting there sarah and i got blueberry vodka mixed with sprite, it was pretty good, they were having karaokee and we were gettin hammered. i don't remember what else we had before kate got there, where we proceeded to get dirty shirlys (which are awesome) sex on teh beach shooters, vodka cranberrys, tequila sunrises, and kate took a shot of glodshlagger and some dirty bong waters, annnnd some sort of layered shot called sex with an alligator...no one knows wtf it is. at some point in this array of drinks sarah vomited all over the bathroom stall and her jeans. and shortly after she face planted out of a bar stool and onto the ground..and spilt her drink everywhere. i eventually called us a cab and we made the trip home.
once in the cab, kate and sarah told our driver to go to mcdonalds. his name was steve and he was awesome. he obliged and drove us to a 24 hour drive through. we bought him a milkshake and 2 apple pies. i got a quarter pounder and kate and sarah got nugs. sarah was raging and yelling at kate almost teh whole way home and threw a nugget covered in ranch at her face and then kate wiped all the ranch on sarahs shirt. it was quite a fight and i kept telling them to shut it cause steve didn't wanna hear them fighting. he played us some country music that in our drunken stuper we had forgotten all the words to the songs we would know in a sober mind. steve got us home safely and we tipped him fucking 45 dollars for a 30 dollar cab ride. i gave him 20 sarah gave him 40 and kate gave him 15. lucky son of a bitch. once inside sarah was still pissed at kate and was sceaming and calling her a cunt. then everyone passed out.
in the morning we told sarah she is never allowed to drink again and we ate noodles and co. for lunch.
i love st.pattys day.