Saturday, November 29, 2008

What a Break!

Well, it has been a week since i wrote a blog. I've been super busy seeing family and friends and whatnot. I finally have some free time to update ya'll on my wonderful crazy life. here is break in day order.

Sunday: Remember how the last time i wrote, we had just gotten back from philly, and i was super tired, well i started my thanksgiving break by going to sleep at 2 am and being woken up by my dad at 9am, because he is redoing my bathroom and had some crazy loud saw in the bathroom, which i interestingly enough share a wall with is so it sounded like he was tearing down my bedroom wall, it was impossible to sleep through so i got up and ate bacon. thank god there was bacon. My mom decided to take off all week so i got to see her all day everyday which was nice. Also the skins beat the seahawks that night and we had steak for dinner so that was good.

Monday: since gary (my dad) refused to let me sleep in on sunday, i slept until 2pm on monday it was awesome. When i woke up my grandma was at my house with cinnamon buns (awesome). But was giving me bad news that because the bathroom is getting redone my mom needed to stay at home all day tomorrow cause the new bathtub was coming and i had to take grandma to the doctors office. okay i can do that. I also hung out with my good friend Ed and we watched superbad, which never gets old no matter how many times you watch it.

Tuesday: Up at 7am to drive grandma to the doctors office she was told to be there at 8, we got there at 7:45. We then sat in the waiting room until 10:10 when they finally called her back. HOLY SHIT make an old lady and her cranky tired granddaughter sit in the waiting room for over 2 hours, thanks. Luckily for me they had some danke ass coffee and grandma bought me a nature valley bar and i then had energy, to do nothing, cause i was in a waiting room. I was supposed to go to lunch with my sister at 11:30 but grandma wasn't done yet and i left her there and my mom had to go pick her up she finally got home at 12:30, why did that take so long? I went to lunch with valerie and we had japanese food it was delicious. I came home took a shower and waited for kate to call me and i went out to fairfax around 6 we got fridays for dinner, and i ordered a drink called volcano exlposion or something i think it was just liquor cause i was tipsy after dinner, and it cost as much as my fucking meal. We proceeded to drink heavily all night and had a boonsfarm circle which made me miss my peeps in sheptown.

Wednesday: Holy shit wednesday, brad (my brother) and i went out to happy hour at chilis at about 3:45 we had about 6 beers there and then went to our place of employment, buffalo wing factory and proceeded to drink there until 8, our bill was like 30 bucks so i think we had 15 beers. We were hammer time and his fiance had to drive us home, at his house i fell down the steps and couldn't beat guitar hero on easy cause i had to close one eye to see the notes. Kate came and got me and we went to ihop with ben and ryan where i scarffed down coffee cake pancakes with apples and cinnamon on them(they were so good) eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, and was white knuckling one of kates cheese sticks. Shit was good. I passed out at 1:30 and was so excited for dinner.

Thursday: Brad didn't come for thanksgiving dinner and he really missed out me and my sister sang an awesome rendition of bohemiem rhapsody for my grandma cause she told us she had never heard of queen (yeah right everyone knows who they are) Valerie also made 2 different kinds of rolls and cinnamon butter. There was lots of food eaten. And valerie made pumpkin cheesecake and chocolate pumpkin mini pies i had a piece of cheese cake and a mini pie. Then i went over to kates to see her family and her grandparents..I had another piece of pie (i hate my life) Kates dad's friends wife (did ya follow) is from thailand and speaks like no english and she was talking to me, i think she was telling me i was really pretty and that i need to smile more often and i sat down with coffee that i later found myself chugging to get out of the presence of this woman who was plastered and not making any sense and sitting in my chair with me with her arms around me not letting me get up, kate and i made a run for it over to my house for an hour and when we got back that lady was passed out in kates sisters bed. I had to sleep at grandmas cause val and i were going shopping in the morning...luckily valerie brought season 5 of the golden girls.

Friday: We woke up at 3:30 am. I can't beleive i woke up at that hour, we went to kohls at 4 am the line was wrapped around the buliding to get in i have no idea why we got in valerie bought a lot of stuff for people then we went to the mall i bought 5 pair of underwear. valerie bought a lot of stuff, she ended up saving 200 dollars at ann taylor though cause she got a 2 dresses one was originally 100 dollars the other was 80 and a pair of pants that were also 80 and when it rang up it was only 50 bucks for all 3. There were crazy lines outside both radio shack and game stop and we had chic fila for breakfast mmmm. We got back to grandmas at 7:30 and i got back in bed til 11. We had waffles and leftovers for lunch (its a family tradition waffles the day after) And then we went to wings for dinner and i had my first legal beer with my mom and dad. I then went out to fridays with ben and ryan and i was DD. I am so responsible, they drank some long islands and some 7 and 7's and i enjoyed my water. I did however get some joose for kate and i and we got joosed later in the night. I woke up in the morning and kate's mom made me ham and eggs mmmmm.

Saturday: well it technically hasn't happened yet, but were going to reston town center for my brothers best friends birthday tonight, and i am packing up somethings to go back home tomorrow.

This is a long blog and i'm sorry, but i had to squeeze it all in, becuase i know empty the fridge day (tomorrow) will have to be its own blog. I am bringing like 100 and some jello shooters, so beware people its going to be a shitshow. I miss everybody and can't wait to see them again!

Joke of the day: What do you do with a years worth of used condoms?

Melt them, turn them into a tire and call it a good year.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Innn West Philadelphia...

Today was awesome. We as in Me, Lilli, Dave, and Jeremy drove to Philly for 3 things. 1. to get lilli an ID, 2. to get delicious cheese steaks, and 3. to meet gram (jeremy's grandma). All things on that list were a great success. however, you can't have a road trip with ridiculous things happening to you correct?

Jeremy scored us a GPS from marshall last night so we did not look up any directions and trusted Doreen (that is what we named her) to get us to Philly safe and sound. But doreen, she had a different idea. She was going to get us there alright, but she was going to take us through the projects of every city, especially baltimore, it was scary luckily i was quick on my feet and snapped some really good pictures of the scary place we were in. here are a few..

In this picture, we see a few of the awesome houses in innercity baltimore, it was utterly terrifying, all of our doors were locked but i was still scared.

In this picture please note that there is barbed wire alllllll around the top of that fence, why did doreen do this to us you ask? so we could have awesome picture i suppose.

Moving on, we then encountered an awesome bilboard sign that said and looked like this... if you can't read the bottom part it says teach your kid it's not a dirty word.

So, once we got through all the scary shit we then came to a road that made everyone laugh because this is what it was called, haha, funny cause blue balls are funny, but wait 20 min. later we saw this one...

the way there was quite an adventure, i am glad doreen took us that route, even though jeremy was in the backseat screaming at us that we should not listen a word she was saying because she was wrong, oh but she got us there a few hilarious pictures and jokes later, we never would have awesome pictures like this if we just took 95 up, now would we jeremy.

It took us most of the day to do this trip, literally from like 10:30 until 9:30, but it was well worth it. I even got a t-shirt from chubby's the place we got cheese steaks mmmm they were delicious.

Everything happened very successfully, we got lilli's id, which is really legit, and that transaction wasn't sketchy at all (just kidding) but seriously why hasn't that place been shut down? oh well, my friend has one i don't care if they shut down now. We had delicious cheese steaks, oh and Chubby's sold colt 45 40's it was pretty awesome, and the two kids in line in front of us bought two smirnoff ice's they are cool. And we got to meet jeremy's gram, she called jake a pansy cause he met her before and he is scared of her. I think she is the most awesome lady ever!

We stopped for coffee on the way home, and someone at that reststop was smoking weed hard core, we wanted to score some, and said if we did jake would be so mad he didn't come and went to work instead, but at least he is scoring some big bills there. We took the boring route home, which was probably a good idea that we weren't in baltimore at night time. we dropped the boys off and then i got in my car and drove back to northern virginey. I am now very sleepy from the day and will probably go to sleep. but here is the best picture we managed to take of the 4 of us..

Joke of the day:
What did the penis say to the condom?
cover me, i'm going in!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

randomy randomness

This semester as most of you know, i am taking a sculpture class, it is really fun and cool and stuff, but i thought it was all going a bit to well for me and knew my luck would soon run out. We have been working on making a sculpture head for literally the entire semester, it started in august and it should be complete by december 9, thats a long time to work on something. Anyway my head was really cool when he was made out of clay and i just wanted to put him in the oven and bake the clay, but that is not what we did, instead we had to a painstakingly long process of casting it and then let it sit for 2 weeks after we poured the plaster into the mold. Then you literally get a chisel and a pipe and beat the living shit out of it until it reveals the beautiful head you made. Unless of course you are me, in which case you beat the living shit out of it just to find that most of his hair is crumbling and is lost amongst the rubble, and his ear is gone as well.

Once that happened i had a mini freak out and then his face turned out okay until it cracked and then i lost all hope for it. My head isn't the only one having this problem, in fact today my teacher and i managed to fix Peter ( thats my heads name) up pretty good and he will be a brand new man after thanksgiving break which by the way starts for me tomorrow at noon. Hell to the yeah!

Moving on, Tonight jake made me dinner :-) well not just me, he made it for me jeremy and dave. It was so yummy. And he didn't just make it for fun, it was actually for a class and his final project is to make dinner in an hour from scratch. It is a hard task i did it last year, but i think jakes turned out really good. He made us buffalo chicken burgers with bleu cheese mixed into them and deviled eggs and some bangin ass pasta salad which i have the leftovers of in my fridge at the moment. So my hat goes off to jake for this yummy dinner and congratulations for doing so well in the class!

And last, but certainly not least...
remember my blog the other day about how we saw that big huge asian breakdancing in sara cree and in the student center?? well here is some great news, we saw him warming up like you know running in a circle like breakdancers do in sara cree again the other day and we tried to slowly walk out of the building in hopes of seeing some of his moves again but unfortunately we walked to fast. Buttttttttt we did find out from lilli, who works at the info center that this guy is in fact the president of a breakdancing club on campus becuase he reserved a room for a meeting, i need somebody to join this club and tell me everything because i certainly will not join.

oh and since everyone else has a cool little blah blah blah of the day i want one too and mine is going to be a joke of the day and here is todays:

how did burger king get dairy queen pregnant?
he forgot to wrap his whopper

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

His Name is Still Ryan O'Connell

Pronounced: douchebag.

Okay, so in order to know what i am talking about in this blog you are going to have to refer over to katys blog to read the original 'His Name is Ryan O'Connell' it will probably take you a second to find it but if you have not yet read it please read it before reading this one.

Anyway, I was recently thinking about ryan o'connell and why he up and left that one day and out of curiosity i texted him the other day in hopes of an answer, the following conversation insued.

me: so did you ever come up with an excuse as to why you peaced out of my apartment that one night?

him: i don't remember so what are you doing tonight?

me: omg you are such an ass. Really u got up out of my bed said i have to pee and left and never said another word and now you're asking me what i'm doing tonight?

him: you mean at shepherd

me: yes i do

him: well sorry you were a prude

me: so you really did just come up to fuck me and when i didn't want to thats why you left?

him: No but i had to be somewhere thats why i left in a hurry

me: so you left because i was a prude and you had to be somewhere 20 minutes after you got here. Even though we were supposed to watch a movie?

This is where Katy interviened and said OMG you have to get him back up here so we can be mean to him, i orginally thought this was a good idea but later got freaked out and she made me send him this next message.

me: well can i prove to you that im not a prude?

him: yeah well when can i come over

me: um i have a meeting tonight, but can you do late on wednesday?

the next day...
him: hey i can come over anytime today after 5

I did not reply to this text message then he called me...3 times and left a voicemail saying the same thing as that text. i finally texted him back after leaving the gym..

me: hey whats up i just got out of the gym

him: im in the gym too whens a good time to come up
i did not respond

him: hey whats up can i come up

me: what time?

him: whenever, just call me

him: well it would take me 40 min to get there

him: are you there

me: yeah, your really desperate for some ass aren't you? Did you really think i wanted to see you again after what you did? I know you just really wanted ass, sorry.

him: yeah

me: wow, im glad you can admit it. Sorry im not going fuck you.

so that was our conversation this kid really is a douchebag who just wants to fuck you, i never heard of anything like that ever ever ever.

*side note: mad props to whoever did the chair/gumball knock and ditch last night very impressive, i am guessing it was jake. good job boy.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Shepherd Breeds the Uncoordinated.

Last night, Lilli and I were gettin our swoll on at the gym, we normally get our swoll on on mondays. Well luckily for us we had to pee last night before doing our cardio work out...and upon leaving the restroom we saw a 300 pound asian boy? man? kid? Whatever he was, he was attemptin to break dance in front of 2 girls who i am assuming he was trying to woo. Anyway we caught the tail end of it, and he attemping like a half way hand stand and fell to the ground with the loudest fucking thud one person has ever made. IT WAS SO FUNNY. but we didn't laugh, no we are not that mean, just kidding we laughed just not in his ear shot and lilli whispered something like "did that really just happen?" we got over it pretty quickly, i however found myself in zumba last night, which is just dance cardio, we had a new lady there last night tryin it out. MOST UNCOORDINATED WOMAN EVER. i'm not saying i can dance or hold a beat but God Damn i must look like a professional next to this woman. I couldn't even glance over at her during the class because it threw me off she was doing something that didnt look ANYTHING like what was supposed to be happening...After zumba me and lilli pumped iron and saw nothing out of the ordinary until dinner time.

We decided to get some fucking good ass wraps from the bistro i got a buffalo chicken wrap cause duh it was monday, lilli got a chicken salad wrap cause her last buff chick wrap was giant or something. Well we were sitting minding our own business but who do i see sitting at the table behind us but the 300 pound asian person we had previously saw in sara cree. I laughed cause i remembered his failed attempt at some sort of break dancing move earlier in the night. Low and behold this kid gets up from his seat when i immediately inform lilli to turn around. He was on the ground this time with 3 girls watching attempting to do break dancing flairs, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RAMS DEN. i was embarassed for him, this kid was originally going to just be a side note in blog, but i saw him twice doing something so ridiculous i had to write the whole thing just about him. I got this text from lilli this morning..."oh my gosh, the kid that was doing breakdancing last night was just moonwalking in the rams den."

i ask you boys and girls, what is his problem. however i am glad we have so many characters that go to this school they make your day that much better.

real side note: road trip with some cool people this weekend so so so excited :-)

Monday, November 17, 2008

the dvd player sucks!

So, I know i did not update my blog yesterday for this i appologize. But i do have some pretty good stories to tell you.

1. On saturday night i went out with my roommate allie, we drank here for a little then went to tony's where i chugged 2 vodka cranberries and some guy bought me a red headed slut. i was drunk. while there i saw my good friend patty and his friend. i talked to them the whole time and then allie said we are going to the baseball house and i was all "okay sweet!" so we went, once there i realized there wasn't a real party happening it was just a bunch of baseball players and us, and allie left like 20 minutes after we got there and left me there with the entire baseball team, not that i'm complaining cause we got some good looking baseball players, but still i didn't know anyone and because of this was the center of attention, i did however drink more there and was almost completely shithoused when kristie came back to get me at THREE in the morning after allie had been comfortably sleeping in her bed for a good 2 hours. I then proceeded to text my one friend and said something to embarassing to put in a blog, and was ashamed so i made sure to text him the next day appologizing for myself and telling him to delete that text and never speak of it again, he politely said its okay hill, you're awesome.

2. Last night Lilli came home!!! YAY! i missed her she was in boston from thursday until late last night, i was thrilled she came home. Anyway, sometime last week we stole the 'its always sunny in philadelphia' dvds from some of our coolest friends in the whole world, they had no idea we had these dvds. It was very easy to do, we walked into their house took them and left and they never even knew we were there. So we created a ransom note that is pretty B.A. (badass) and delivered it to their house last night. I'm not sure if they found the note yet, but we also took a picture of ourselves with said dvds and texted it to them last night, i am assuming some sort of awful retaliation is in store for us...

3. With the story above said, you now have a little bit of a background for this one. A few years ago, i bought a dvd player for our apartment, it was like 20 dollars and it got the job done. Recently it has been being a huge bitch. it does things such as skips lots of dvds, always tells me i am inserting the wrong disc when i know for a fact i am not. It is just a huge piece of shit, well actually it is small so a small piece of shit. Friday night, allie tried to watch some movies in it and the dvd player read wrong disc for every single one. I think the last straw for this guy was that lilli accidently left it on all night and i think it was to much for it to handle. Last night, we wanted to watch the its always sunny dvds, so we go put them in and low and behold the fucking dvd player says "wrong disc" every time we tried. We got mad, so we decided to just take it out and watch it in lilli's computer, but now the dvd player won't open we had to pry the little flap down and then use tools to make it move at all. Once it came out, the dvd was no where in sight, we paniced for a split second but then decided we needed to fully take apart our dvd player, so we did and right now our dvd player is in like 4 pieces out in the living room and we were able to watch our show.

Hopefully later i will have a few pictures of our night last night...

Saturday, November 15, 2008


upon hearing the sad sad news that Betty's was closing, we went for lunch today and like i said got a rumsey burger, a rumsey burger is like a big mac only like 100 times bigger and 200 times better, i am the worst rumsey burger eater ever, i can barely even finish mine while nick finished within 5 minutes of recieving his and jeremy shortly after that, i was still trying to finish it after everyone at the table had finished eating. Anyway, we asked our waitress if the horrible rumor was true that betty's was closing down. She said no way, and if the owner now decides to sell it that she personally would buy it and keep it going, with that weight off our chests we were able to relax knowing that wouldn't be our last time in betty's.

Anyway, i recently was linked to this website, it is called the impossible quiz, apparently there are 110 questions in it, it is the hardest fucking 'quiz' in the whole world i think i have gotten to number 82, here try it people and good luck..
If you get passed 82 please tell me how to do it cause its hard no lie.

Also, last night i bought MD 20/20 why i thought that was a good idea is beyond me but i don't want to buy it ever again, or at least not for a while :-) I wish i had a funny story to tell about last night, but i really don't except we went to get more things to drink at like 11, and i got a little tiny reese's cup it was 15 cents i think that is a rip off, but it really caught my eye and i reallllllllly wanted it.

There was really no point to this blog, but like i said in the previous one i am going to try and write one every day. Now i'm going to try and get a paper started hopefully something awesome will happen tonight so i can tell a cool story tomorrow :-)

Friday, November 14, 2008

My First One!

Well, this is my very first blog. I decided I should jump on the bandwagon. Everyone I know has a blog, why not me too?

A few things you should know is i don't use grammer correctly or like capitalize things, so throughout my blogs they probably won't be grammatically correct so sorry if that bothers you. I also am not a very good speller, so i'm sorry :-)

Well lets see for the first blog what can i write about?
Today i had to give a tour of campus to the most socially awkward boy in the history of awkwardness, and his mother. His mother seemed super nice and awesome however she got her masters in reading...thats strange. Anyway, this boy was staring at my chest almost throughout the entire tour. I don't know if he was actually looking at boobs or what, but he was staring hard core, i will give him the benefit of the doubt and say he was trying to read my shirt, but i had a zip hoodie on and you couldn't really see it, and the neckline on my shirt wasn't scandalous or anything I reallllllllllly hope he was just trying to read my shirt, otherwise that is creepy. I think he might go to school here however, he seemed very interested he is from morgantown, and why would anyone wanna go to a school with 27,000 other people?

In other news, our most favorite place to eat, Bettys, is closing down. This is the worst news of the entire day. We are going there this weekend in hopes of getting the most delicious rumsey burger one last time.

Well that is about it for the day, I will try and post a new one everyday so keep checking back!