Monday, January 26, 2009

I want to live on a cruise boat..

I just got home from the most awesome weekend! I went on a three day cruise to the bahamas. i want nothing more than to just stay on the cruise ship and live there and have fun all the time. I'm going to tell you about all the awesome things we did and you will be jealous and you will also want to live on a cruise ship with me.

Friday was when we shipped out we got in our room, and ate a lot of lunch and started drinking right away. we found this awesome deal where you pay only 23.99 for 5 drinks of the day. They were all fruity drinks and i have the worst heartburn ever, but it was totally worth it. so we drank all day hung out on the pool deck went to dinner, apparently we were all so drunk that we went to the wrong dining room on the first night of dinner, i dont remember this happening but we just walked in and were looking for our table, and some guy said this is not even the right dining room. so we had vals bachelorette party that night, we walked out of dinner and heard a piano playing sweet caroline, and decided we had to go in and see what was up, it was AWESOME piano bar guy plays what you want, and everyone there just screams the lyrics at him. this is where i was introduced to a blue motorcycle, i see these guys with electric blue drinks,and i asked what it was and they said AMF (Adios Motha Fucka) cause they fuck your shit up (but they are really called blue motorcycles). and that is the gods honest truth, i had like 100 of them cause they taste like gatorade, then we went to karaokee and i sang free fallin and they guys who had the blue dranks came and watched me, val opened her presents, and we drank out of manis (man penis) straws. Kate and I (one of val's bridesmaids) stayed up until 5am and aparently when we got back to the room this is what we said "we need to put on our bathing suits so we can go watch the sunrise" and valerie said we were with 2 people we met, 2 men we did not know, and da brat http://http//, she was aparently on board as well. valerie told everyone to go to bed and ordered us grilled cheeses from room service, im guessing i ate mine in my sleep, because i have no recalection of eating it, but when i woke up i was spooning with an empty plate that had a pickle and a few potato chips, i got woken up at 8 am because we had to go on our shore excursion to atlantis, so i got 3 1/2 hours of sleep.

So, for our day on the bahamas we were going to go to this super cool shore excursion that was through sandals and its and all inclusive all you can eat and drink all day, and they informed us at the last minute that we could not do this one, because it was for couples only. We decided to go to atlantis instead, which was still awesome because i have always wanted to go there, i got some really pretty pictures of the ocean and the hotel, everyone was a little hungover from the night before, so we rode the lazy river, and went down the fucking scariest water ride ever i screamed bloody murder down it, we did get free lunch there so that was good, then everyone took a little nap, mine lasted 20 minutes and i made my mom go down a waterslide with me, it was really fun. then valerie and marissa went to the casino there and everyone else did whatever and kate and i walked allllll over it was really big and awesome and we saw lots of cool animals. Once back on the boat i took my only shower of the weekend how gross am i. and we got ready for dinner, kate and marissa were tired or something so they didn't do anything and i wanted to have fun but it was impossible to do by myself without feeling an alcoholic, so when everyone turned in for the night, i stayed up an extra hour, but everyone was having fun on the island so no one was on board. so i went to bed at about 3 and woke up at 8, i got 5 hours of sleep that night so i was totally ready for the next day, the ship pulled out at 7 and we were headin back to the main land.

The entire way back, it was 85 degrees outside and we started drinking at breakfast, i put on a dress and got a miami vice (half strawberry daquiri and half pina.) we played some music trivia and we owned but didn't keep track we could have won a trophy lol. But we heard of the harriest man on the boat competition, and we were all over that, it was the funniest thing ever probably. One of the guys who introduced me to the blue drink entered but the other people were pretty old and it was HILARIOUS to watch them shake their ass up on stage, but nothing beats this old old old man probably about 80. They introduced him and he gets up and it walking up to the stage shaking his entire body, if you know me i will show you my imitation of it. Everyone was like what is he doing, and i was like i think he is having a ceizure, so he shakes his way up 2 steps and then fell backwards down them, and the music cut everyone gasped except me the asshole in the back of the crowd laughing my ass off at him. and he got up and then once on stage he bent over and moved his ass back and forth and everyone was like rolling on the ground laughing unfortunately he did not win. but fortunately we saw him later, IN A WHEEL CHAIR!!! he can't even walk no wonder he fell down backwards on the stairs. I went to buy more drinks and saw my awesome electric blue drinking friends and we hung out with them for the rest of the day my sister and marissa were in a black jack competition so kate and i didn't see them much, but we had such a good time and drank alllll day went to dinner, and we went back to the piano bar where i met a girl who looked 12 but just turned 21 on wednesday so i bought her a drink. Again i was all alone everyone in my party went to sleep and no one told me but i wouldn't have left anyway i was having to good of a time, i made it back to my room by 5:30, just to get woken up at 6:30 by my sister. ONE HOUR FOLKS, still shitfaced when i woke up trying to pack, i got all my stuff i believe. We left i lost my voice, so did my sister, and kate. that means we had an awesome time.

We got to the airport at like 10:30 where i was getting a hangover, took some meds and ate some chips, i was so tired we had to wait til almost 3 to get on the plane :-( And once we got on it i got myself like worked up and nervous to take off, and i was like freaking out and my heart was racing and i was sweating and him just driving the plane was giving me motion sickness, and i was like mom are in the air yet are we in the air yet, and when we finally got in the air i knew i was going to vomit and i told my mom i was going to, and as i was discovering me going vom we hit turbulance and i was like crying cause i was sweating and didn't feel good, and then i vomited, into TWO puke bags and my mom was gagging it was so ridiculous but i felt 100% better, so i made my nerves go crazy, it could have been something i ate also, but no one else got sick from the food, it also could have been the 1000 drinks i had, but i didn't feel hungover so i dont know i think i just accidently made myself sick. I got home and was still wearing the dress from the night before, that is another thing i didn't wear any pants this trip and passed out in the dress i had on the night before everynight. i am so classy, but when we landed it was 30 degrees and i had no jacket or anything i had to drive back up to school in rush hour on one hour of sleep, and then i had to work 11-1. i almost passed out at the hall security desk. It was worth everything though. My bar tab was 320 dollars, i love my mommy so much for paying for me to get shit faced everynight.

I am going to write another blog later with pictures, but my camera battery died, so it will be later today or tomorrow.

random song quote: "Sexy can i? just pardon my manners. Girl how your shakin it got a nigga like whoa, kodak moment, let me go get my camera, all i wanna know is sexy, can i?"-- Ray J "sexy can i?"

***this is where we got manis, because kate thought he said Sexy can i? just parked my manis...where we then asked what a manis was and she said a man penis, and the next logical line in the song would your wogina as in womans vagina. that is all

******another side note, i think we saw a real mangina at atlantis, this guy was wearing spandex speedo, and his legs were spread open and we saw NO BULGE.

1 comment:

jeremy blaine said...

sightings of manginas are very rare, especially in the wild. I laughed out loud so long about that sidenote that it made me cough. sounds like you had a shitty good time.